Bush Refusing to Vacate Treehouse

As Barack Obama begins to make the White House his home, there's still one piece of the old regime that's refusing to leave ... the former president. According to White House sources, former President George W. Bush has apparently taken up full-time residence in a treehouse on the North Lawn.

"We kind of knew he was still around because of all the candy bar wrappers, so we followed the trail straight to the big oak tree," said a Secret Service Agent. "Then sure enough, there he was."

As his time as President wound down, Mr. Bush began spending more and more time in his secret clubhouse. At one point he tried to hold a cabinet meeting up there, leading to Vice President Cheney falling through the poorly built "deck." The resulting injuries left the VP wheelchair bound.

Whether or not Laura knows of, or cares about, the situation is still unknown, but we were able to reach the former President via Dixie cup last weekend. "Technically my treehouse is not on White House 'grounds' so I'm not too worried," said President Bush. "In fact, I may not even be part of the United States. I'm going to have to look into that..." The former President then trailed off and was heard looking for his "adding machine." Minutes later he crashed through the floor of the tree house and plummeted to the ground, hitting his head on the wooden ladder as he went down.

Seconds later, he was back in the tree, emerging after a few minutes to display his new sign "No Obama Allowed." What the current President will do about his houseguest remains to be seen.