Saturday, October 4, 2008

Tampa Bay Rays Contracted!

Fearing the lowest ratings in MLB post season history, Major League Baseball decided to contract the Tampa Bay Rays in the middle of the sixth inning last night. With the Rays leading 3-2 after the fifth, Major League executives decided enough was enough.

"They were playing good baseball. We had no other choice. We just couldn't risk it," reasoned MLB commissioner Bud Selig. "The possibility of a Rays-Brewers World Series is just too scary. From a business perspective it makes no sense at all."

After the White Sox were retired in the top of the sixth an announcement came on the JumboTron informing spectators to vacate the stadium immediately.

This comes as a sad end to a cinderella season for the Rays. After dropping the "Devil" from their team name, the Rays went on to win their first ever AL East pennant and earn the franchise's first ever playoff birth.

"It was a fun little experiment," added Rays' owner Stuart Sternberg. "To be honest I didn't think it would last this long. I mean, a baseball team in St. Petersburg. Ha."

Tropicana Field will not be demolished so it can be used to house future hurricane victims. All players and personnel of the Rays will be properly disposed of.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Microsoft goes ghetto ... bitch!

Yo, yo, yo. Wat up biznatches? Awww shit, have you seen dem new "I'm a PC" ads? Dopeville brah! And dem onez wit Seinfeld? So funny I nearly splattered my duds gettin my chuckle on. Shiiiit, call me a convert and baptize me wit sum Dell printer ink son!  

I'm not sure if I used the correct vernacular. I hope you can understand the point I was trying to make about Microsoft attempting to seem hip. I know my diction is poor, but I'm just starting to understand how the kids talk these days. The new Microsoft ads weren't actually what prompted this post. My buddy at work was doing a spell check when he came across this:

More like "Spelling and Grammar: Olde English." That's right. Microsoft word suggested he change "We're" to "We is." Damn microsoft, when did you get so cool all of a sudden? I guess they had to do something. Although this could just be their Asian programmers assuming he meant to say "We" as in "My Asian friend We, loves playing Wii." Easy mistake.

Going back to their "I'm a PC" ads, I don't appreciate the use of cute African children. Judging by the village surrounding the school, probably didn't have a choice as to what computers they were getting. Just like they didn't choose to wear a brand new "Patriots 19-0!" t-shirt on the first day of school.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Since you're probably not content with our content ...

So it's pretty obvious that we've been lacking in the new content department. Well that's about to change. Since it's tough to collaborate on articles all the time with jobs, fetishes and what not, we'll start posting regularly on our own. This isn't a competition, but I'm sure I'll win. 

We are going to devote most of our joint efforts to video so you should see more of that too. We currently have a couple projects in the works. So look forward to those.

But in the mean time in addition to posting articles and whatever else you'd call our existing content we'll post more "bloggish" type things.  For example:


Now I won't get into it much, considering there's nothing funny about winning football games. Except of course Brett Farve giving a press conference in a Wrangler Tuxedo. 

I'll leave it at that for now as I don't have much time and there's a whole lot of season to play.