Tampa Bay Rays Contracted!

Fearing the lowest ratings in MLB post season history, Major League Baseball decided to contract the Tampa Bay Rays in the middle of the sixth inning last night. With the Rays leading 3-2 after the fifth, Major League executives decided enough was enough.

"They were playing good baseball. We had no other choice. We just couldn't risk it," reasoned MLB commissioner Bud Selig. "The possibility of a Rays-Brewers World Series is just too scary. From a business perspective it makes no sense at all."

After the White Sox were retired in the top of the sixth an announcement came on the JumboTron informing spectators to vacate the stadium immediately.

This comes as a sad end to a cinderella season for the Rays. After dropping the "Devil" from their team name, the Rays went on to win their first ever AL East pennant and earn the franchise's first ever playoff birth.

"It was a fun little experiment," added Rays' owner Stuart Sternberg. "To be honest I didn't think it would last this long. I mean, a baseball team in St. Petersburg. Ha."

Tropicana Field will not be demolished so it can be used to house future hurricane victims. All players and personnel of the Rays will be properly disposed of.