Thursday, July 31, 2008

Obama's "Short List"

As the general election draws closer both candidates are vetting their potential VPs in order to make the right choice. Today we look at a couple of people we feel would help Barrack Obama win the White House.

Hillary Clinton - She'll bring over 18 million voters with her to the polls. But he'll constantly be reminding her who wears the pants suit in the relationship.

Larry Bird - Basketball jesus. Reaffirms the black thing, tones down the muslim thing, appeases the hillbillies, I mean America's hardworking Heartland.
 
Al Gore - Brings eight years of VP experience and Darrell Hammond is still on SNL to do impressions of him. Though he'd probably nag Barrack to trade in Air Force One for a Prius.

Batman - Takes a hard stance on crime, and could probably replace the need for the Secret Service. However, the Batsuit might not mesh with the humid DC summers and he's probably killed too many people to be VP...or not enough.

John McCain - Once a maverick, McCain will now do anything for publicity and some tapioca pudding. It might be tough to get him as Michelle Obama reminds him of the nurse who took his watch.

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Very good with environmental issues, but isn't well versed in playing a supporting role. His partners have a history of being killed by his enemies.

Tony Parker - Pure point guard who can penetrate the lane and dish to Obama for open looks beyond the arc. He also strengthens Obama's international presence. But he's from France where they still do this.

Heath Ledger - So hot right now. Plus he won't fall asleep during congressional meetings...unless he wants to. Too soon?

Bill Richardson - Total package. He speaks spanish and he's white, a lethal combination. It's like belonging to a country club, but still having inside jokes with the landscapers.

2 comments:

Adam L said...

"Al Gore - Brings eight years of VP experience and Darrell Hammond is still on SNL to do impressions of him. Though he'd probably nag Barrack to trade in Air Force One for a Prius."

All Gorged owns like 3 mansions and flies around everywhere in a private jet. Fortunately they are all powered by good intentions and hippie logic.

A Roof Monkey said...

He also uses the oil that drips off his beard after lunch.