Thursday, October 8, 2009

MLB Owners approve sale of Cubs to debilitating disease

CHICAGO - All 32 Major League Baseball owners chose to approve the sale of the Chicago Cubs from the Tribune Co. to the bone-afflicting disorder Rickets.

“It’s only natural that the Cubs be sold to a disorder that brings so little to hope to those

afflicted,” said MLB Commissioner Bud Selig.

Best known for the longest championship drought in sports history (which now stands at 101 years), the

Cubs are still a financially successful franchise.

Wrigley Field consistently sells out games every summer, and millions of fans flock to root on the “lovable losers.”

“I think it’s really fitting that Rickets bought the Cubs,” said lifelong fan Fred McGee. “Not having the strength to shoulder any pressure really epitomizes this team.”

Rickets is a disease that weakens the bones due to lack of vitamins, usually cause by famine or starvation. And with the trophy case in its current state, it’s really a wonder that the Cubs are standing at all.

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