Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Blagojevich's hairpiece to testify
As Illinois Senator Rod Blagojevich continues to promote his innocence on the talk-show circuit, a close friend has taken the stand to testify for the prosecution. That friend of course, is his hairpiece. Long thought to simply be a Serbian misinterpretation of popular style, the hairpiece in question seems to have fallen out of favor with his longtime confidant and vehicle.
This rift between head and hair could spell trouble for Blagojevich as he faces corruption charges after allegedly attempting to sell the senate seat left vacant by Barack Obama. It is believed that the hairpiece was with the senator throughout the entire scandal and was privy to some crucial information. Up until now, the two were seen as inseparable (aside from rumored sleeping arrangements) and thought to be an intimidating one-two political punch. However, money got the best of Blagojevich as he recently sold the rug out from under his friend’s feet, giving his head-warming and fashion duties to a wealthy Arabian raccoon.
Now, as the senator’s trial gets underway, his former hairpiece has decided to go on record with all he knows, even if it means jail time as an accomplice. As the toupee takes main stage, many hope the senator’s lies will be exposed, and in turn expose him as the bald asshole everybody knows he is.