Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Future News Volume 1

With America’s debt at an all time high, the government was forced to seek corporate sponsorship to help mitigate the damage. Everything was for sale:

- Verizon Wireless “Can you hear me now?” State of the Union Address

- New Jersey as brought to you by Febreze

- Kanye West® presents the Kanye West® Memorial
featuring Abraham Lincoln. A Kanye West® production

- The LemonParty.org White House

- Big and Tasty New York McStock Exchange

- Apprentice 10: The 2012 Presidential Election

- Hello Kitty Pearl Harbor Memorial

- Washington Mutual Washington Monument

- Trojan Her Pleasure Condoms Grand Canyon

- Taco Bell Supreme Court

- Declaration of Independence
brought to you by National Treasures 3 starring Nicolas Cage
"History was meant to be rewritten"

- The United States of Diddy

1 comment:

Adam L said...

WaMu isn't going to be sponsoring shit anytime soon... they may collapse and leave the Fed and the taxpayers holding the bag on $800 billion in deposits.

I guess that that black spokesman could use the help of the futzy old bankers in the banker's pen now. On you know, how to run a bank that doesn't collapse by giving loans to deadbeats.